I just signed a purchase order for a replacement window in one of the children’s bedrooms. It was broken by an angry child who is just learning that it’s OK to have emotions. (Don’t worry. It is special glass, so it cracked, but no one was hurt and the child now has a different bedroom.) Of course, the next step is for the child to learn healthy ways to show those emotions. Learning how to manage emotions is all part of healing.…
psychiatric residential treatment
It has been more than 40 years since “The Miracle on Ice,” when the U.S. Men’s Hockey team defeated the Soviet Union on their way to Olympic gold. To this day, whenever I think about that win, I still feel the same emotions I did the night it happened. That moment was electric, and people talk about it as if it were yesterday.…
As a private not-for-profit, we are owned by our community. We are not a government agency. We are not owned by a family, by individuals, or by shareholders. The kids at the Ranch, when we first meet, often ask me “Do you own the Ranch?” I tell them “Nope. We are owned by everyone, with God at our center.” That usually disappoints them, because I would be much more glamorous as an owner!…
One of the (many) great things about working at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch is being surrounded by inspirational messages. Of course, they are intended for the children… to keep them buoyed up and encouraged. The healing work they do is hard, and they have endured so much. In Chapel services, spiritual life groups, Dakota Memorial School, and the living facilities our kids see and hear all kinds of “You Can Do It” messages. Spoken, or a nod, or a worksheet or a side hug, all carry the message of hope.…
Chapel Services are at 4:30 p.m. on Thursdays on all the campuses of Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch. We do not require children or staff to attend. But, many do. Last week, I was on campus in Minot for Chapel. Minot is our largest campus, our seminal campus. Chaplain Rick Jones and Deaconess Kelly Bristow do a beautiful job of bringing His word to the kids in a way that relates to them. Yesterday the message was from Romans 13, where Paul talks about how to think about “authorities.” Chaplain Rick was able to make sense of God’s delegation to “authorities” in his name, while acknowledging that many in authority had been the very people who had victimized these children. He explained how the authority was from God, but how the person in that position may be in the clutches of sin.…
I hear the same lament over and over from friends, particularly grandparents, aunts, and uncles who live a distance away. "Why don't kids today ever send thank you notes?" and "I have to call to see if they got the gift, because I never hear about it from them." I honestly don't know if it is worse than in previous generations. My mom and dad made sure I wrote thank you notes. But I also remember when, having heard nothing, they would ponder whether a gift they sent had ever been received.…
When I was a kid, I didn't really appreciate all the work that went into raising food. Gardening was a lot of work, and it took away from what I wanted to do—generally anything except work. I've since gained an appreciation for gardening, and even gave it a name, "dirt therapy." For some people, digging in the dirt, watching plants grow, and harvesting vegetables all come together to create a sense of accomplishment and well-being.…
We should never quit growing and learning. One of my former bosses, a remarkably wise man, always said, "If you are the same person next year that you are this year, you're not very interesting." His point was that each year we should evolve, learn, have new experiences... maybe even change some strongly held opinions.…
The children who come to Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch have endured so much. They have been busy surviving, not learning basic life skills. So, we try to teach them.…
The mission of Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch is "to help at-risk children and their families succeed in the name of Christ." Yet, one question I get asked a lot is, "Aren't all these kids better off without their screwed up families?" Sometimes it is worded much more compassionately. Sometimes it is even more judgmental. Sometimes it is hard to answer with a quick "Yes" or "No."…
In a book I'm reading, the author talks about God-inspired interruptions, which reminded me of a recent moment of inspiration outside my office at the Ranch. My office is situated across the hall from Shayla Leinen, Principal of Dakota Memorial School on the Fargo campus. Throughout the school day, kids come to Shayla's office, sometimes with an emergency or a behavioral issue, and sometimes just to say hello. Shayla is amazing with our kids; she truly cares about each one of them.…
The sermon at my church recently was about the phrase in the Bible, "Come and see." The point of the sermon was that the phrase was only used when "see" really meant "know." "Come and look," according to the speaker's study of the Bible, meant "Come and draw your own conclusions." But "see," was used when the conclusion was not up for debate. For instance, in John 11:34 in response to Jesus asking to see Lazarus as he lay, unarguably, dead.…
When I was a teenager, going to the grocery store with my dad was so painful! Going with Mom was great. My mom was an excellent cook. We lived on a farm, raised all kinds of vegetables and fruits. Had our own chickens. Bought eggs from a neighbor. Now all that is cool, but then it was necessary. Still, we went to the grocery store for all the fill-ins. She taught me about different spices, oils, and the difference between baking soda and baking powder, while we went up and down the aisles at Hugo's, the local store. Best of all, Mom was a shy and reserved woman, not one to draw attention to herself... so shopping with her was just her and me.…
Children should have wonderful imaginations and see great possibilities. For many years, my son was committed to the idea that his life's work was to invent a flying car ala' the Jetsons. He saw his future as allowing him to pursue his dream, whatever it may be. And, to a large extent, he was right. Although his dream changed and he now is delightfully happy working in the culinary arts, he continues to develop greatly imaginative recipes.…
It is really important in an organization like Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch that every single person… no matter their role or position, know why we are here and why we do what we do. Our ability to meet our mission, “to help at-risk children and their families succeed in the name of Christ,” hinges on each person’s ability to understand how what they do impacts the kids. Whether direct service or working in our thrift stores, providing therapy or patching holes in the walls, every person makes it just a little more possible for these amazing kids to heal.…
I sat in my office the day after Easter and reflected on the quietness of the moment. Usually, the hall outside my office is anything but quiet, as students head towards music class or stop to visit with our principal whose office is just across from mine. I thought about all the boys and girls who have walked down that hall. All the stuff each child carries with them—trauma, heartbreak, and thoughts of not being loved. That is a lot for a child to carry.…
The Sunday after Easter, the scripture readings in church were all about Thomas, who for all time, has been dubbed "Doubting Thomas." Poor guy. I don't think it is fair that he gets labeled for doing what nearly all of us would have done in the same circumstances!…
Earlier this year, Dakota Family Services, the arm of the Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch family that provides outpatient mental health counseling, hosted "The Light Experience." With Dakota Medical Foundation's support, the virtual event gave teenagers a safe space to talk about mental health, learn, and ask questions. Small breakout sessions were offered on depression, self-care, anxiety, suicide, and ADHD. The youth had a chance to learn about mental health and how to ask for help. Over 100 teens "ZOOMED" into the event.…
Pizza everywhere! As I walked into the building that houses the living areas for the children on one of our campuses, all I could smell was pizza. You know, the sauce, pepperoni, ham, sausage, crust. I'm not sure you actually "smell" the cheese, but when you smell pizza, you know it's pizza. I walked into the staff room and there were enough pizza boxes to feed Hannibal's army.…
This week we celebrate Easter. The story of the death and resurrection of Christ is the Greatest Story ever told. Over and over we share the joyous news of His triumph over death. In His resurrection, we have the irrefutable proof that Jesus is exactly who He claimed to be—God’s son, the Messiah. We celebrate the event in profoundly human ways—with worship, candy, special meals, fancy clothes. At Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch we do a full-on Easter Egg hunt! But the underlying impact and meaning is about hope, an eternal Father who loves us, and mercy. Telling and re-telling the story, over centuries, has ensured each generation has the opportunity to believe.…
Today I'm giving a shout-out to the brave parents who trust us with their precious boys and girls. I say "brave" because it takes courage to reach out for help. It is difficult to imagine the pain and heartbreak some parents experience when their child needs help. The parents of kids who come to the Ranch are out of options and out of hope. We look into their eyes and say, "How can we help?" And most of them, through their tears, tell us they just want their precious child back to "normal."…
In the latest edition of Ranch Voice, there is a great article talking about our amazing facilities team. I’d like to take a moment to celebrate these unsung heroes who day in and day out work very hard at providing a clean, safe, and healthy environment for our precious kids and dedicated staff.…
I have had the wonderful opportunity to hear Pastor Mark Huber, from the Sanctuary Church in Marshfield, Massachusetts lead devotions at several national Christian Leadership events. I have never listed to him without then spending significant time pondering his words.…
At Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch, we work with kids who have endured more than anyone should in a lifetime. They are kids with psychiatric, behavioral, and social issues; and sometimes working with them is exhausting. But, they are still kids. The people who work here must have well-developed resiliency—and the ability to see the potential in each child—over the noise of their challenges.…
Sometimes I am astonished by the many ways people find to be good. Today at the Ranch, we received a $5 donation. We are incredibly grateful and are careful stewards of each and every gift. This gift came with two letters, one from a teacher at a Christian school, and the other from her student.…